Marriage Monday: S.H.A.P.E

The past few months has been tough on me with finding my way. Figuring out my talents and what I can do to utilize them has been tough too. Lord knows I won't win housewife of the year when I can't even make scrambled eggs without my husband making a face! lol.

When I got married I always told my husband that I didn't want to be known as Lt. Santelli's Wife or known as a Marine Wife. I didn't want to be defined by my husband's career or lumped into a group that often gets stereotyped. I am super proud to say I am married to a Marine, don't get me wrong! I just don't want to lose "me" in all of that. If that makes any sense at all :-/

I would often get down on myself. I get frustrated and depressed about being unemployed and feeling like I have no real sense of urgency to have to get up in the morning. Even the blog was weighing on me which is why I am not going to stress myself about it anymore as I openly expressed last Friday. Going to the gym or going for a run is pretty much the only thing I feel like I have going that I enjoy. This would be the deciding factor of me going for my personal training certification. If I have to get a job, I might as well do something I enjoy right?

Okay, so enough of my mopey background and intro to the real point of this post. I picked up this amazing book in the library and began reading it last week. I have been touched by it so far and even moved to tears. The book is S.H.A.P.E. : Finding & Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees.

Source: amazon.com via Melina on Pinterest

I remember one morning when I made my husband those said eggs I mentioned earlier. He jokingly laughed saying that I was horrible at cooking! This is something we always joke about but on this particular day, I really felt broken. I felt like what is the point of ME when I'm not really good at ANYTHING!? This is a negative thought that often creeps into my mind when I have a down day. I know it is the devil working to keep me from fulfilling that purpose God has for me. It is the devil's way of holding me back. It's been working.

But God truly speaks to us in our weak moments and when we least expect it. That same morning was when I picked up the book to read the first chapter titled "Masterpiece".

Here is an excerpt of the part that brought me to tears:

God doesn't create anything without value. He is the ultimate craftsman. And he designed you specifically to fulfill a unique role in his ultimate plan to establish his kingdom on earth. Even though each of us has made mistakes that make it more difficult for him to perfect, we still are a special work of the Creator's hands. He even takes the time to know about our day-to-day lives. In fact, he is smiling right now, rejoicing as you seek to discover the masterpiece you are to him.

I think I chuckled a little because I was thinking, "Ha! Me a masterpiece? I suck at everything I do!" But how could I ever doubt God or question God as if I was a mistake? Our God does not make mistakes! I'm really going to have to work on positive thinking and begin believing in myself! Especially now that I'm about to enter into a new phase in my life in just a few months!

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. ~ Ephesians 2:10

I'll also share some scripture that also spoke to me this past week when I began watching the new Soul Detox series from Lifechurch.tv. (Pastor Craig's messages always get to me!)

I
 wait 
for 
the 
Lord,
 my
 soul 
waits, 
and 
in 
his 
word 
I 
put 
my 
hope. 
My
 soul 
waits 
for 
the 
Lord 
more 
than 
watchmen 
wait 
for 
the morning…
 ~ Psalm
130:5­6




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