Marriage Monday: Be an Example

Weeks ago I started the Fifth Section of the Marriage Preparation & Improvement titled "Loving One Another". Today I'll share my thoughts on the next part that looks at how Love requires giving and self-sacrifice.

Since this series is going to be a sort of "column" of my ramblings on marriage as a newlywed trying to figure out how to best live a Christ-centered marriage that isn't always perfect, I want to share something from this study that resonated with me. Everything in the study is good and all, but it is the little snippets that stand out that are the ones God uses to talk to us. Again, I am terrified to be transparent, but if God uses me to touch even one person, then I won't fear.

Here is the part that stood out to me this week:

If you are having problems in your marriage, do not expect your spouse to solve the problem. Begin by examining yourself! Most marriage problems result from faults on the part of both parties. Rarely is one person alone the whole cause of the problem.

1 Peter 3:1,2 - You cannot control what your spouse does. You can only control what you do. If you become what you should be, you will set the example to help your spouse become what he/she should be. Do not wait for them to change. Start doing all God says for you to do and you will have the best chance you can have for a good marriage.

Source: http://www.gospelway.com/family/marriage-love.php

I have a confession.

This past Sunday morning at 10:30 am I was sleeping in my bed.

That's right. I didn't go to church. In fact, if you asked my husband and I what church we frequented, we couldn't tell you.

There, it's out there now.

My husband and I have fights and have moments as any couple would but we don't have such dire problems that are worth raising red flags for, thank God. However, this lack of priority to get to the community of the church is something that can cause problems because there is always that threat of losing sight of God. You are who you hang out with right? If we aren't around other Christians, then, yeah, I'm going to be concerned. A marriage without God is playing with the fate of being a statistic.

Maybe some of you know or not, but my husband is Catholic and I was a Baptist in high school, turned non-denominational Christian in college. Going to each other's churches just wasn't our thing and before getting married it was an issue trying to decide where we would go and what our kids would be.

When I was in college I attended Lifechurch.tv much to the dismay of my husband who could never comprehend the idea of hearing a sermon from a pastor on a large screen. But if you were to hear a sermon from Pastor Craig, you would love it too! It was from listening to Pastor Craig that I learned that it isn't about me. That we are all the church as Christians no matter the denomination. I decided that the Catholic Church would be our church so that the hubs and I wouldn't have to argue about it anymore. (Marriage is compromise right? Someone had to give! lol)

But then our lives started with the military taking over. In Virginia, my husband endured high physical stress, so the idea of getting up on Sunday morning for him wasn't happening. Now here in Florida, countless hours of studying for flight school when he absolutely cannot fail a test or he loses his career weighs on him. I pray for him everyday to have the strength for it all but I can't get him up on Sunday morning for anything.

Don't take this as me blaming him. I'm to blame because I'm not going to be the one who goes to mass by myself. I am intimidated by the Catholic church because all I can remember from it is from when I was maybe 7 years old. All through High School and College I would go by myself to church, but it wasn't Catholic church. If he doesn't go with me, I don't go. It is awkward enough being the only one sitting down when everyone gets up for the bread and wine. Not to mention my lack of fire and feeling lost the past couple months hasn't helped in me wanting to get up on Sunday morning either. :-/

Thankfully Lifechurch has online services that I "attend" but we all know that it isn't the same as being among other believers in a face-to-face environment. I have been doing a daily devotional on my phone and I always get scripture sent to my email daily and it is a funny thing how they are all relating lately! It is as if the moment God broke His silence to me, he now won't stop talking! Every day since last week has been a lot of "I hear you God" and "Ah! Hah! I got You Lord!" Even the songs on the Christian radio and on Pandora have seemed to be around the same memo that God wants to drill in my head. Don't you love when that happens? When God is loud and clear? Especially when He had been silent!

I guess I have to go back to Pastor Craig's message when he said that it wasn't about me. That it's about God. I must set the example and overcome my fears and nerves. I need to suck it up and get in that car.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ~ 1 Peter 3:1-2

As a Christian, I know I cannot be perfect. That is why we need Christ! It is from my truth that I hope to inspire other newlyweds and brides-to-be. We aren't going to have this thing figured out just because we got married. We don't have to behave as if we have the experience and knowledge of having been married 20 years. We just get to live life the best we can and live it for Him. The best part is that Jesus is always with us through it all.

It is my hope that anything I have shared today speaks to you. :-)

~

So who else does the online church thing? 

Are you also having troubles getting to church on Sunday for various reasons? 

Maybe it's the stress of planning the wedding that makes you want to stay home and not see your family who is going to be there. 

Maybe it's that you or your partner work so much to make ends meet that you work clear through the weekends. 

Are you having troubles finding a new church home from moving? 

Are you and your fiance dealing with whose church to go to? 

Share in the comments below or share on the Wedding Pickle Facebook Page. Or just pray about it and I'll be praying with you! :-)

Marriage Monday: God Spoke to Me

Okay, so it's not Monday. I spent yesterday revising and revising the heck out of this post. I was also scared to post this and got the courage to do it today. I'm very bad at sticking to routines. My bible study posts seem to come every other week instead of weekly. Though I did mention how Marriage Monday was going to be more of me sharing notes and thoughts of my own reading and studying on being a better wife and striving for a fulfilling marriage. I was going to sit down and write up my notes continuing that bible study that I started but something happened to me Saturday that moved me. Sometimes when God speaks to you, you can't help but want to tell the world!

I'm always trying to sprinkle in a bit of myself in my posts, but it has always been a debate within myself on revealing more of me to you. In my effort to shift the focus of the blog to being a Christian wedding AND marriage blog, I've decided to do better about documenting my own journey as a Christian newlywed trying to make her marriage rooted in Christ. This blog is a part of that effort because it holds me accountable. But, I'm not perfect. No one is. That is the beauty of being a Christian. We live for Christ because we aren't perfect. And He loves us anyway.

Source: beautiful-portals.tumblr.com via Melina on Pinterest

So now I reveal an internal struggle I have been dealing with the past few months.

I am so lost.

I'm lost in myself trying to find my passion. I'm lost in this world trying to find my place. I'm lost in my home trying to be a good wife.

My blog reached its 1 year anniversary and I started to realize that more than wanting to be a wedding planner, I wanted to be a writer. I learned from this blog that it is writing on weddings and Christ that make me so happy.

However, my priorities and routines are all whack right now. I wake up in the morning only wanting to go back to bed feeling like, what is the point of getting up? I'll write a post, do my work out, feed the dog, run, stare at my house and procrastinate on chores. I feel like a mouse on a wheel. Moving yet going nowhere.

I have been feeling like I have no purpose. It is a silly feeling. When I blog and when I run are the only times that I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. I guess I feel like I'm just going through the motions with everything else.

I have prayed countless times and cried, begging and pleading God to light a fire under me. To show me direction. He once was opening doors and closing doors for me like crazy and I followed without hesitation. I lived with such excitement everyday and everything reflected that. But lately. . .

Nothing. . .

I have endured pain in my past to be unable to deny God's existence. So I know at all times that He is present even when I can't feel Him.

But man is it lonely.

I rely on my faith and knowing His hand is always there to keep me going.

I came across this article just a few days ago that warmed my heart concerning God's silence. That God is planning a party for me and is using this silent period as a way to make me a better Christian. I endure it solely because I know it is a part of His plan. And we'll celebrate when I get out of this funk.

Then God broke His silence. Just Saturday when I was writing the post for Sunday on Ruth 1:16-17, He spoke.

I always do my scripture and reading on my online Bible at YouVersion.com but I pulled out my old Women's Devotional Bible because I knew it gave more history and background on each book of the bible. I wanted to learn more on the book of Ruth so there that old Bible was in front of me. Curious, I dug through the pockets of the cover and found old sermon notes all the way from when I was in High School from my old church. There aren't many but for some reason, I saved a few. And I know I didn't save them on purpose. They just happen to be ones I didn't throw out. The first one I pulled out was this one from July 2004!

When God Seems Distant

The reason for his distance:

1. Sin in your life

2. Shape your life

3. Sharpen your life 

What do you do?

1. Tell God how you feel

2. Focus on who God is

3. Trust God to keep His promises

4. Remember what God has already done for you

Wow. There you go. God broke His silence to answer my prayers of begging for Him to guide me. He just told me WHY He's been silent and what I needed to DO. My heart was so moved. It still is.

I never doubted His presence. I just felt alone. I'll take a moment and thank my husband for dealing with my mood swings and laziness lately lol! Thank God for him! (This is me keeping in mind number 4 of what to do!)

Our God is so wonderful in that He loves us! He is there always no matter what. I'm not saying I'm all figured out. I'm still figuring what my purpose is. A common struggle I'm sure many of us have. It's just hard to do when He is silent.

I feel that maybe some of you have been feeling like this? You quit your job, get married, move out of state and have to start over. Ever wonder what you are doing is right? Do you feel lost at times? All in all, are you feeling like God could speak up a bit? He wants to hear us and Lord knows I need to hear you! I pray that with my openness in this post that we can encourage one another. :-)

He love us! Oh, how He loves us!

~ Melina

Marriage Monday Week 5 Discussion

Week 5 looks at Loving One Another from the Marriage Preparation and Improvement Study series. I mentioned last week how I was just going to publish my notes and thoughts for discussion for each part of the series. The Loving One Another section is actually going to be divided into two parts, so this week I only look at the first three parts that looks at how Love is a concern for the well-being of others, a choice of the will and must be expressed in both word and action. The last two sections will be discussed in Week 6.

I loved this passage so much when I came to it that I had to share:
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ~ Philippians 2:1-4

Then the study goes on to list examples of how a husband or wife can be selfish in their marriage. One got to me:

"The wife prefers to socialize with her friends, leaving the house in a mess."

Yep, it got me. Not that I am out and about with friends. I never really leave my house much at all. I just prefer to read blogs, browse Pinterest, catch up on Real Housewives of Atlanta and Beverly Hills, Workout, and nap. If you look at my house right now, my coffee table is a mess, and there is even a pile of towels I need to fold sitting next to me on the couch as I type this. :-/ (I'm so embarrassed to admit that!) 

I have been selfish in my laziness at times. There is no reason that I shouldn't take care of my home better so that my husband can come home and feel relaxed. There is no reason that I shouldn't keep the dining table uncluttered and actually make dinner so that we can eat at the table together for that necessary 'us' time. 

I love how the second section, "Love is a choice of the Will" talks about falling in love and falling out of love and how some people just give up when the love is gone. This has always been a pet peeve of mine for anyone thinking that falling out of love can be a legit excuse for divorce. If you fall out of love you were never in love to begin with. It was never love at all. Love takes work and a decision from both the husband and wife to work at it. 

We are to love as Christ loves us. He died for us. If He can die for us, it shouldn't be hard to choose to keep working on a marriage. This is something you and your fiance should definitely be on the same page about!

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. ~ 1 John 3:18

What are ways we can show love for one another?

• Saying "I love you" at random times and not just when you are saying goodbye
• Telling the other person that you will always be there for them. 
• PDA! Hold hands, kiss, and hug! (I love when my husband will just embrace me when I'm busy in the kitchen. As if to let me know he appreciates me without even having to say it. Makes me want to be a better wife!)
• Loving God :-)

Another good passage that I love because it describes the way that we should be wives and husbands:

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. ~ 1 Corinthians 7:3-6

Did you do the study? What thoughts do you want to share? If you didn't do the study, that's okay, we can still discuss what I talked about today! :-) Share in the comments below or take it to the Wedding Pickle Facebook Page!

Marriage Monday Week 4 Discussion

I have an announcement to make about my Marriage Monday Bible Study. This week will actually be the last week that I will be making handouts and questions for the study. No worries though! I'm still going to do the study but instead I will just be taking my own notes as I do it and discuss thoughts and points brought up. You can still share your thoughts and findings too!

To be honest, the handouts just feel like an extra step that I don't need to be taking and I'm trying to get simplified in my life so that I don't lose the joy in the things I do. (Morbid comment but I'd rather speak with openness and honesty) As I try to find my place in this world, I stumble upon truths that I must embrace and apply to my life. I will likely be posting a personal/announcement post tomorrow about the direction I want to take this blog as it grows in readership!

Now on to talking about marriage!

1. What are your thoughts on the example of a noble woman described in Proverbs 31:10-31?
This is definitely one of my fave passages on the role a woman plays as wife in her marriage and her family. I especially love the verses 11-12 that tells how the husband and wife both have a role to support each other.

Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

My other fave verse from this passage is one that I want on display at all times to remind myself of the kind of woman I want to always be for my husband. It is funny because just before even doing this study, I first found that verse on Pinterest:

Source: theatypicalhousewife.com via Melina on Pinterest

2. What is the difference between choosing to marry based on character and choosing to marry based on emotion?
The easiest example I can think of is if I married my husband based on emotion, when my husband and I had that giddy new love, we would've gotten married years ago. But I look at my life and I'm thinking I would have been 19 and taking on a responsibility that I wasn't ready for. We got married when our character was more mature. We cried through things, laughed through things and still loved the adults we became.

3. What are some things you think a person should know about the person they want to marry to be considered as knowing them well?
I felt like I knew my husband, then boyfriend, really well but you don't know how a person really is in certain situations until it comes to it. When my grandma was in the hospital dying, I was probably very irritable, angry, sad, and boring. I was so comforted by how my husband was in dealing with me. He was patient and supportive. I had never seen this side of him. The situation was not ideal but it did help me know more about him.

4. List some differences you and your fiance have that you should discuss and workout before getting married?
I think the obvious ones are practicing faith, raising children, handling finances, and career ambitions. If thoughts aren't aligned or at least at an agreement, it could definitely bring big problems in the future.

5. Take a moment and make a list of what you want in a spouse.
I actually had a list written before I even met my husband. I'll spare the long list, but will leave this with a thought. No matter what, I knew I'd only marry a man who could provide for me, protect me, and support me. :-) That and he must be a man who can lead his family and be a positive role model.

6. Write down your reaction to the section "Young people need experience with life and people before they make a choice"
I am a big supporter for this one because we all change and grow as we come to different experiences in life. My husband and I at 17 and 19 was completely different to who we were at 23 and 25 when we finally got married. In the 6 and a half years we were together before getting married, we grew a lot and fell in love with who we became. After all that, we had no doubts at all when it came to joining our lives together!

Go ahead share your thoughts! I'd love to hear what you think and what you learned! You can comment below or take it to the Wedding Pickle Facebook Page wall!

Next week will be an off week for the study but will pick it up again with a discussion for Week 5- Loving One Another on January 2nd. Don't miss it!

Bible Study Week 4 Handout

I hope everyone had a good weekend! Mine was pretty peaceful. The hubs has begun the first stage in his flight training and all he does is study all day long. He is having his first test (they can't fail more than one) today and I don't know how he feels at this moment but I'm super nervous! Needless to say, the TV was off all weekend and I was able to focus on a lot of things without the distraction. That and I ran my fastest 3 mile run yesterday! I definitely don't mind ending the weekend with a victory :-)

I have decided to do discussion on the Bible Study series every other week and alternate with posting handouts. So grab your handout for this week and check back next Monday to discuss the study and answers to the questions. :-)

Marriage Monday Week 4

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Marriage Monday Week 3 Discussion

Wow, somebody dropped the ball on this blog! Wait, that would be me! I have totally been absent the past few days from here and from social media, you'd almost think I fell off the face of the Earth. Obviously, I didn't but mentally I really did. I think I was spaced out in anticipation of the Big 12 Championship Oklahoma State vs Oklahoma game. Then we won and then we were on the edge of our seat waiting for the BCS peeps to announce who would be going to the national championship game. It won't be us but we are still so stoked! Seriously, did we just beat OU? Was that really OU playing that night? See, I'm still in a daze.

That and I've been busy launching a new project which I'm not ready to announce what it is yet. You know how it is when something is new and shiny one gets consumed in it! Needless to say I'm giving myself a run for my money going into 2012!

So here it is, finally. My answers to last week's bible study questions! Again, feel free to comment, discuss and/or add your own answers. Let's get growing in God for our marriages!

1. What are your thoughts on divorce?
I have to say that it is something I really don't believe in. My parents are divorced and it has taught me a lot on the pain and confusion it causes. That and I still believe my parents to be married in the eyes of the Lord. Divorce on paper is no divorce in God!

2. Why is it that God hates divorce?
"The man who hates and divorces his wife," says the Lord, the God of Israel, "does violence to the one he should protect,"says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. - Malachi 2:16

When we get married we are partners. We are one. So to against that just goes against all of what God intended for marriage. 

3. Write down your thoughts on death and infidelity being the only reasons that allows a person to remarry?

I honestly was surprised by this one. My own views is that only in death, "'till death do us part" could a person remarry. I remember hearing people say that infidelity is another reason but I never looked it up until now. Now, I don't see it as a reason for divorce since my husband and I have agreed that divorce is not an option. I believe turning to God can salvage the marriage.

4. Have you talked about Divorce not being an option for when times get tough? List some ways that you plan to deal with difficult situations.

Other than prayer and surrounding ourselves with fellow Christians, the hubs and I are not shy when it comes to the idea of going to counseling. Also, fixing communication. In our past when we had troubles, we reverted back to a simple email to explain our feelings to each other rather than trying to talk where our voices can get raised and words misunderstood. 

My favorite passage for this week: 

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together let no one separate." - Matthew 19:6

Chime in below as a comment or share your thoughts on the Wedding Pickle Facebook Page!

The handout for Week 4 will be up ASAP!

Bible Study Week 3 Handout

So it is not necessarily Marriage Monday but since I'm doing things with a bit of a delay this week, I'm posting this study sheet today. It is a short study so you can do the study every other day this week, focusing on a specific thought and praying about it in the mean time.
Marriage Monday Week 3:The Permanence of Marriage

Don't forget to tune in next Monday for the answers and discussion on this week's study and to get the handout for the next week's study.

If you haven't yet, be sure to Like Wedding Pickle on Facebook! 

Marriage Monday: Week 2 Discussion

I had a blast this weekend since my dad paid a visit and I hadn't seen him in nearly a year! This would be why I didn't post this past Friday and Saturday.

Daddy and I at the National Naval Aviation Museum in Pensacola

Can you believe that we are already to the week of Thanksgiving? I'll have a few posts for you this week (along with a giveaway!) and then the blog will be on a break until the following Marriage Monday where we will carry on with the discussion from this week's study.

Now on to the bible study answers and discussion!

1. Recall some reasons from last week on why it is important to help one another serve God.
Without looking back right now, I would say that it is important to help one another serve God because God made us to serve Him, because it sets the foundation for being able to raise our children in God, and it helps us to better serve His purpose for us.

2. What are some ways that you love one another as you love yourself?
Putting my husband's needs above mine, waking up early in the morning to take care of him even though I don't need to be up, let him have the bigger piece even though I want it but he needs to eat more to not be hungry later, thinking about how something would affect his feelings before saying something, (I can probably list a bunch of random and serious ones here but I will spare you having to read a long post!)

3. What are some ways you plan to bring up your kids in the training and instruction of the Lord?
We plan to take our kids to church every Sunday, but on top of that I want to be involved in the church with other moms so that my kids are more involved as well such as different church events and activities. I also would love for my family to read a bit of the Bible together every night as a part of the bedtime reading. No kids yet, but this is hopefully a plan I can live up to!

4. List the reasons why you want to (or did) marry the one you love? Are they Godly reasons? Are they proper or misled reasons?
He understands me, respects me, loves me, makes me laugh, recognizes my pain, he has similar beliefs as I do, both of us being Christian, he has a wonderful family that supports each other, and heck, who wouldn't want to marry an Italian and take on a cool last name! lol

My fave scripture from this study: 

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. - Genesis 2:24

What are some of your answers, comments and/or questions from this study? Which scripture was your fave or spoke to you most this week?

Carry the discussion in the comments below or share on the Wedding Pickle Facebook Page wall!

Oh and instead of grabbing a handout for Week 3, we will all take a break to be with our families and enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday week. Give thanks and give love! :-) (Don't worry, the Week 3 handout will be available next Monday when we continue!)

Bible Study Week 2 Handout

Shame on me for not getting this out to you guys yesterday! It's okay though, the study is shorter so even starting today would still be on schedule!  Week two will look at the purpose of marriage according to the Bible.

Download your copy and then be sure to check back next Monday for discussion and answers to the questions on this week's study topic. :-)

Week 2 - The Purpose of Marriage

Marriage Monday Week 2: The Purpose of Marriage

Marriage Monday: Week 1

Alright, here goes. I am so excited and I have been praying about this study! I will be sharing my answers to the study questions from the handout. I am nervous about revealing too much about myself but I realize that you, my dear followers, are my sisters (maybe a few brothers?) in Christ. So what do I have to fear?

I warn you that these bible study discussion posts will be pretty long and I hope you might want to pick and choose which answers to your questions you'd like to share and/or comment on my answers and on others comments! Feel free to read some and come back later if you can't read and interact here in one sitting! Oh and don't forget to come back later to get the download the handout for Week 2!

Source: bcoram.blogspot.com via Kristen on Pinterest

1. When there are troubles in your relationship, who do you typically go to for advice and/or reassurance? 
This one is important for my relationship with my husband because from the very beginning we agreed that if we were arguing or having troubles that we wouldn't share it with anyone because in both our former relationships outside influence from the well intended actually affected the relationship for the worse. No one else is in the relationship so they couldn't really give the best advice without being really that informed.  Of course, this is something we still maintain. However, I still have a habit of blabbing to my sister, which my husband does get mad at me about! (Whoo! Long answer! Maybe I should have given you all more lines on the study! lol)

2. Describe a time when you confided to someone and it caused more trouble in your relationship? 
It probably was more when my hubs and I were dating (4 years in I believe) and we were on shaky ground. He actually confided our relationship to a friend who did advise him to break up with me. We ended up going on a break for a couple months. :-/ Of course God had his own plans cuz we did get back together and got engaged a few months later!

3. What are the reasons why we should turn to and trust God as THE authority?
Because He created marriage and His wisdom is superior to our own.

4. What are some ways that we can keep our focus off of material possessions?
We can read from the Bible everyday to be reminded of God's way. We can also volunteer to keep ourselves grounded and donate as much as we can to help others.

5. What are the results of seeking God first and serving Him?
We stay on path to fulfill His plan for us. We end up bringing God's influence into the lives of our children, and build a foundation for a strong marriage which will save us from failure in marriage.

6. Why is it important for your family to worship God together?
Because serving God is the be the priority but God made man and woman to be companions, therefore we are to worship together.

7. What spiritual topics do you want to cover together as a couple in your growth with God?
My husband and I definitely need to work more on prayer together and our biggest topic of interest is rearing up our children

8. What are the things you wish to pray about for your relationship? What are the things you wish to pray about for each other?
I always pray for my husband and I to always have patience and understanding. Not only for the everyday but to also make it a strong quality for when we need it most, like when he deploys. I also pray that doing bible study together would become a priority. Even if he does work a lot and comes home and sleeps! lol I pray for him to always have strength, he always gets tested and it blows my mind when he comes out of the test the Marines try on him stronger. Then I have to throw in a prayer for myself. I always pray for strength as well. I am terrified for when the time of deployment comes and I have no idea how to handle that. Except to turn to God of course :-)

9. Write out a prayer plan for the week where you and your fiance pray together and pray separate for each other.
I plan to pray every morning when I wake. I am horrible at actually making dinner and having us both sit at the table. So I also plan for us to have dinner together at the table (I better actually get to cooking!) And for us each to say a prayer and of thanks before we dig in.

10. What roles do you believe a husband should play in a marriage? What roles do you think a wife should play in a marriage?
I always fell a husband should be the protector, the provider and the spiritual leader (I think of the song Lead Me by Sanctus Real) I feel that my role as wife is to be the caretaker and the supporter.

11. Take the time to discuss and write out your expectations for raising children together and how you will encourage their walk with God together.
This was something we always argued about before we got married. He being Catholic and I was Baptist, we both wanted to take our children to different churches. But as my mindset has shifted to a non-denominational Christian, I have learned that it isnt about me and what church I like best. It is about God and our worship of him. Especially among other Christians. God is still the same God. So now we have both decided that we will raise our children in the Catholic Church. Children is so far in our minds but we do agree to raise our kids to know God.

12. Pick you favorite scripture mentioned in this study and display it in your home.
Hard to pick one! I bet you felt the same! I have to go with

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. - Deuteronomy 6:6-9

Can you tell this was my inspiration for the question? It really is important to surround ourselves in scripture everywhere we are!

I can't wait to what you have to share from this week's study! Like I said before, comment below, comment on Wedding Pickle's Facebook Page and keep checking in to see what others have said!

Oh and don't forget to get your copy of the study for next week which I will have posted for you later today!

Introducing Marriage Mondays!

I am so excited to be launching this new series that I have been talking about a few times last week! Let me introduce you to

In place of the regular Pickle (wedding advice and ideas) I'll be carrying on this bible study on a weekly basis. I will provide you a printout of the week's questions and assignments based on this awesome website source I have found called, Marriage Preparation & Improvement.

Feel free to print out the sheet, bookmark the website and do the study with me weekly! It is my prayer that you feel comfortable to comment each week and I pray that your future spouse will do the study with you! With divorce being a threat to what the meaning of marriage is, I find it extremely important that engaged couples and married couples study what the bible says on marriage so that we all stay on track!

So join me on what I hope becomes a sort of virtual bible study group! Grab the printout, go to the website, take notes, pray, and come back next week for discussion here and on Twitter, along with the next printout assignment! I'll share my answers and I hope you'll share yours too :-)

Week 1: The Role of Religion

Marriage Mondays Week1: The Role of Religion

Unfailing Love

Last message in the Once Upon a Marriage study.



Watch the video in full HERE and download study questions HERE

My notes on this message:
Don't buy into this misconception:
What I am missing is better than what I have- Never forget to appreciate what it is your marriage does provide for you.

Two ways to have a marriage:
Do everything right (the best you can of course)
Walk through trouble together (no matter how hard) towards the door of Hope

Forgive and Love as you have been Forgiven and Loved.
Always keep this fact in mind as you enter the journey of your marriage!

Be sure to catch up with the other videos and notes if you missed them.

Much Love and God Bless!

Faith-LESS or Faith-FULL

This is the 3rd video in the message series "Once Upon a Marriage" from the amazing Lifechurch.tv.

Again, here is an excerpt.


You can watch the message in full HERE and download message discussion questions HERE.

To sum up the message, here are my own notes for you:
What do you want out of your marriage? What do you think it will be like?
Follow God by faith into the unknown. BUT, even when we are faith-less, God is faith-full.

Three things happen when we are faithless:
1) We fall victim to FEAR. Asking "what if?"
2) We get AHEAD of God by taking matters into our own hands and not waiting and trusting His timing.
3) We don't BELIEVE God will do it for us. We ask, why would he do this for me?

Things to think about:
Is anything too hard for the Lord? We can take him at his word.
Invite God into the center of your marriage. Don't just go to church and check it off the list. Hang on to Him.
His TRUTH trumps Facts. God has the power to do what he promises. Do not waiver in your FAITH

BUT, here is where the blessing remains, that even if you do waiver in faith, God is ALWAYS faithful.


You can read up on the first message HERE and the second message HERE if you missed them.

God Bless!

Man of the House

This is the second video of the series for Once Upon a Marriage. An excerpt below.



You can find the full video with study notes HERE.

Here are my notes summing it all up for you:

To be a God-Centered Marriage/Family, the husband has to fulfill his God given role. What this means for the wife is this:

The wife is to be the husband's helper, helping him to be what God needs him to be.

Belittling him with words (nagging), essentially turns him to become that which you speak of him.

Pastor Craig says this: 
No man will ever crawl out of his wife's constant complaining a better man even if what she says is 100% true about him.

What is rewarded is repeated. If he does the dishes, tell him, "thank you." Even if he did it wrong.

Don't take over. Let the man, be the man. He has a God given role. If you constantly take over, he will lose that role and never become that which you may complain that he never does.

Pray and stay out of the way. Let God do the work to bring the man to be what he is made to be.

For a God-centered family, the man has 3 roles
~ The Provider- women can provide too, it is just that the man has to set the financial tone
~ The Protector- not just from physical harm but also the family's heart and emotions.
~ The Pastor- setting the spiritual tone, going to church and being involved, praying as a family

You don't have to get married and fall into the stereotype of the nagging wife and the complaining husband. Make God the center, fill the roles He made for your family and your marriage will be what people don't expect.

Food for thought, huh? Yeah, I constantly think before I speak when I feel the need to nag, lol. What do you think? If you need prayer to ask God to bring your marriage to be God-centered, I would love to pray for you! Let me know!

Never Satisfied

Here is the video for this week's study. I also have a link below that allows you to watch the full video and download questions.

Once Upon a Marriage: Never Satisfied

I love this study and I watch the series every so often to keep myself in check with my marriage. Essentially the study focuses on how in order to have a happy marriage you have to find THE ONE. 
We are taught in society that if we find THE ONE, that we have found unending love and that we should get married and live happily ever after. But if that is our focus, we will never be happy. Probably why there are way too many divorces! I took notes from this video and share it with you.

3 Problems when you believe marriage is the answer to happiness
1. You compromise more than you should. Compromising who you are for the sake of solving problems in your marriage only makes you not who your spouse married and it won't make you happy.

2. You become demanding We raise our expectations of each other and our marriage becomes a contract. You do this for me and I’ll do this for you. Because I did this for you, you have to do this for me. We bargain like doing a business transaction.

3. You will always end up dissatisfied Both you and your spouse are only human. You can't be all things for all people. Don't expect that from your spouse. Don’t expect your spouse to be the one to meet all of your needs, because they will let you down.

We think that if we make the money, get the big house, the new car, have the big family that we will be fulfilled.

What is missing?
prayer, seeking God, faith, spiritual connection
Don’t make your marriage based on what you want from each other.

We have been conditioned to believe that to really be fulfilled in life, we have to find THE ONE.
You found your love, but don’t say, I have found THE ONE. Say, I have met THE TWO!
God must always be your one and spouse your two.
In that case to really be fulfilled in life, you do have to find THE ONE!

Don’t set your marriage for failure and disappointment. Seek THE ONE and you will have a satisfying marriage.

Holy Matrimony

With my new change to the blog, comes Christ-centered focus which in turn means a Christ-centered marriage. As you do your wedding planning, you probably have come across having to do counseling or a marriage class to get married possibly as a church requirement or to get a discount on your marriage license. You are putting a lot of time an money into your big day, and naturally, you are planning on forever with your husband. How do you make your marriage last?

Well that solution is easy. God.

So, Sundays may typically be love scripture as in the past, but it might also be video, or the start of a marriage centered bible study that you can do during the week.

This week I want to introduce a video series called "Once Upon a Marriage" by LifeChurch.tv (those of you from Oklahoma know about this church whether you go there or not lol). Seriously, these marriage studies changed my life and improved my relationship with my husband for sure!

 

This will be a study I will launch and discuss real soon. Study questions and discussion posts will be spread out during the week along with my articles on Wedding Issues and DIY projects. Stay Tuned!